I stayed up all nite long creating my own personal blog just to write my feelings out about the stuff im going through lately.. i experienced absents in college for a week. This dragged me into a whole bunch of problems and miseries, this was never what i planned ... those problem keep on pulling me apart and tearing down my compassion, i feel no energy and hope to hooked on my responsibility anymore.. like i usually do. I am thinking of taking the shortcut to end it all... coz i feel that my wall are closing in on me... i can barely breath...i feel suffocated!!
I did not know why i keep causing so much trouble. i just can say that things doesn't goes the way i have planned, it just get out of hand. i am lost.... way out of the track, I have lots of problem occurring at once... just before i can even sort it out, it worsen!!
My feelings is creeping me out, feelings of no one beside you to hold on to... is "fxxkin'' scary when all the problems started forcing me to face it without any clues and directions. I really are going through a hard time trying to performed well and make things rite again, i really do.
i knew that i am able to keep back on the rite track just because of her, a best friend of mine. In this difficult time i really found a true friend.. although most of it are laughing and clapping hands, but i get a true friend which still care for what happened to me.
She approached me with a gentle yet merciful voice..telling me to be stronger, don't run away from problems but be brave enough to face it... one by one with her accompanying by my side. I am so touched... i know that it will not be that easy to hit back on track once again, pulling my self together and get all things fixed up are hardly describable.
But, for me... it is much more difficult to turn down on a true friend, i will never wanna make her disappointed in my entire life, not even if the my problem hunts me down. i will try my very best to built back the strengths and gain back confidence back slowly... too show that im stronger than before...
i really thanks God that he placed her in my life...and all these problems that i am facing, coz trough these obstacles i learn to faced but not run, i gone through and experienced it which make me more mature in thinking and handling things. life will never stop learning until you reach the final day where u lie on ur dead bed.
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